December is the month of lights, abundant tables, the scents of home… and, increasingly, perfect photos on social media. As we scroll through holiday stories, everything seems to smile at us: harmonious families, carefully wrapped gifts, sparkling moments of intimacy. And yet, for many people, this is also the time of year when unexpected feelings emerge: comparison, pressure to measure up, melancholy.

How can we explain this paradox? Why is it that, precisely when we are “supposed” to feel happiest, some of us experience conflicting emotions? Psychology in general—and social psychology in particular—offers some interesting answers based on the concept of social comparison.

The season of almost-inevitable comparison

According to Social Comparison Theory, proposed by American psychologist Leon Festinger, comparing ourselves to others is a fundamental human need: we constantly seek reference points to evaluate ourselves and understand whether we are “doing well” (Festinger, 1954), both in terms of performance and, even more, in our attitudes and opinions. In everyday life this comparison happens spontaneously and almost invisibly; but on social media, this mechanism is amplified and intensified.

During occasions like Christmas, the process of social comparison reaches its peak. The platform becomes a sparkling mosaic of what others have chosen to show: happy moments, “perfect” gatherings, serene relationships, carefully chosen gifts. A constant stream of images that, in truth, represents an intentionally selected and filtered version of reality. As several studies on media psychology point out, what we see online is never neutral: it is the result of strong personal and social selection (Chou & Edge, 2012).

This is where the phenomenon known as upward social comparison comes into play— when we tend to compare ourselves with those who appear “better,” happier, or more organized. During the holidays, this comparison can become particularly intense because it builds on an already strong social norm: the expectation that Christmas should be a joyful, harmonious, almost perfect time. When we observe others’ “best versions,” we risk perceiving our own experience as less rich or less adequate.

Research shows that this comparison is not only common but also automatic: almost without realizing it, we measure our reality against that of others, often drawing hasty conclusions about our worth or our happiness (Vogel et al., 2014).

Yet this comparison is flawed from the start. Social media do not show the whole picture but rather a personalized window into what people want to share. An Instagram account is a shop window, not an intimate diary. And like any shop window, it is designed to show the best, not the full reality.

Understanding these processes certainly doesn’t eliminate social comparison, but it makes it more transparent. Psychology in general—and social psychology in particular—invites us to interpret what we see on social media as just a fragment, necessarily partial, of the world around us, and certainly not as a measure of our intrinsic value. And in doing so, it reminds us that behind every perfect image lies a complex and inevitably more nuanced reality—the social reality in which we are immersed.

References

• Chou, H. T. G., & Edge, N. (2012). They are happier and having better lives than I am”: The impact of using Facebook on perceptions of others' lives. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 15(2), 117–121.
• Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117–140.
• Vogel, E. A., Rose, J. P., Roberts, L. R., & Eckles, K. (2014). Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 3(4), 206–222.

Article written by Federico Contu, Assistant Professor at Jagiellonian University in Kraków and collaborator of UniSR-Social.Lab; Simona Sciara, Researcher at UniSR; and Giuseppe Pantaleo, Full Professor of Social Psychology at UniSR, Director of UniSR-Social.Lab—the UniSR social psychology laboratory—President of the Bachelor’s Degree Program in Psychological Sciences and Techniques at UniSR, and Head of the Organizing Committee of the Bachelor’s Degree Program in Political Science and Global Strategies at UniSR/UniBG.